Navigating the Fast Lane: A Wellness Guide to Handling Road Rage
Road rage. It’s a phenomenon we can all relate to, to some degree.
Driving is a massive part of my life. As a fitness instructor teaching across seven different gyms and clubs, I am constantly on the move. I often get stuck in peak rush hour traffic—waking up at 7:00 AM just to make my 8:00 AM Pilates class in Menlo Park. It's only two freeway exits away, but the morning rush in the SF Bay Area can be absolutely brutal.
This morning was a case in point. I was driving to the San Bruno Google campus for work at 11:00 AM. While merging onto the freeway, I was blocked from getting into the left lane by a white Lexus SUV. The driver insisted on riding side-by-side with me, completely refusing to let me merge. I had to slow down significantly to squeeze my way through before my lane ran out.
It was an acutely stressful situation, and unfortunately, it's one I run into often. As I finally merged, I glanced in his direction, and he shot me a dirty look—as if it were my fault that I needed to merge! I retorted back with an equally dirty stink eye, which honestly felt cathartic in the moment. Inside, I was stewing. I wanted to honk or flip him off, but I knew that such gestures would only escalate the situation and could turn into a dangerous encounter.
So, how do you protect your peace and cope with road rage when the freeway gets chaotic? Here is a wellness blueprint for staying safe and grounded behind the wheel:
1. Breathe (The "HA" Release)
Take a calming, deep diaphragmatic breath. Inhale through your nose fully, filling your lungs and ballooning your belly. Then, exhale forcefully through your mouth with a "HA" sound. Inhale calm and serenity; exhale anger and resentment.
2. DO NOT Retaliate
If someone cuts you off, don't let the ego take over. Don't be petty and try to engage in a Formula 1 race with them. Don't weave through freeway traffic to stay on their tail, don't tailgate, and don't spotlight them with your high beams at night. Honk only when absolutely necessary for safety. Retaliation is not only petty; it is incredibly dangerous.
3. Let the Rage Pass Through You
Recognize that road rage is just a temporary wave of anger. Acknowledge it, but quickly release it so you don't do something you regret on the road. Practice non-attachment—do not cling to negative experiences or let a stranger dictate the energy of your entire day.
4. Accept Your Feelings
You are completely validated in feeling triggered, stressed, flighty, or on edge in these moments. Allow yourself a minute or two to genuinely feel those negative emotions, rather than suppressing them. Once they are felt, consciously relinquish them.
5. Speak an Affirmation Out Loud
Sound carries power. Speak to yourself in the cabin of your car: "You're okay. Everything is okay. You're safe." Safety is paramount while driving. It is actually healthy to maintain a respectful dose of fear when driving because it reminds you to stay sharp, calm, and focused. On the freeway, anything can happen in a split second.
A Cruel Reminder to Stay Defensive
Driving—while a completely normal, everyday part of life—is a high-stakes business. Just yesterday, I found out that a former co-worker of mine from the Circus Center passed away in a motorcycle accident. Logan Sheehan was a brilliant professional acrobat and circus artist, and he was a couple of years younger than me.
This tragedy was a heartbreaking reminder to always drive defensively and respect the road. You are putting your life on the line every time you sit behind the wheel. Take a moment to say a quiet prayer of protection in your head before you merge onto the freeway, and remember to practice deep gratitude the next time you safely park your vehicle.
Stay safe, breathe through the chaos, and protect your energy out there.